This is hard for me to capture in blog form, news like this is more easily broken in person and then more and more detail added through casual conversations, slowly adding colour to the picture over time to help you imagine the event. I’ll give it a shot anyway.
On Monday the 26th of April, I proposed to Sarah (many of you have already had the pleasure of meeting her). There you go.
A bit more detail is in order I suppose. First – the proposal (I’ll write about more details later):
It was an ordinary sunny day in Dublin. I arranged to meet Sarah for lunch because she had a half day that day. We decided to have a picnic in the Iveagh Gardens in Dublin. If you’ve never been to the Iveagh Gardens I highly recommend it – it’s a secret garden in the middle of Dublin many people walk right past it without even noticing. We picked a spot in a quiet area to sit down. I deliberately tried to find a quiet area because I knew what was coming up next, I wanted to give us some privacy so Sarah would feel free to decline my proposal if she wanted – as certain as I was that I should ask, I know that Sarah is very much her own woman and would say no if she felt the timing wasn’t right.
Here’s Sarah pointing at the very ordinary looking spot of grass where we had our picnic and I proposed. The picture was taken the following Sunday when we went back to the park for another picnic after I preached at a nearby church:
The spot where I proposed to Sarah.
So it was an ordinary spot on an ordinary day, the reason for this is because I was very much focused on surprising Sarah. I tend to give the game away when it comes to surprising Sarah – excitement or uncertainty will often lead me to announce a potential surprise, or ask Sarah if she would like something before I get it for her. So this time I was determined to surprise Sarah. And I did. The poor girl. Although Sarah said yes (when she caught her breath) the first time, she made me ask her again (thankfully saying yes again) because the first time was such a blur. I know now that there is a pressure point on a man’s knee that empties his head of all prepared speeches as soon as pressure is applied there when he goes down on one knee (or up as it was in my case since we were having a picnic on the grass) to propose.
Since then we’ve been overwhelmed by the joy and enthusiasm of our friends and family as they celebrate with us. We’ve been making plans for the big day and looking forward to our future together with a greater sense of commitment and We’ve been reading a lot of marriage preparation material. Sarah is having her ring ‘ooh-ed’ and ‘ahh-ed’ over. I think she’s enjoying that.
Just thought I’d write a quick note to let you know that I haven’t lost interest in the blog or anything. Many of you may know that something big just happened in my life (the good kind of big thing). So there’s been some time away from normal schedules to celebrate and kick off a new project of sorts. I’ll update the blog with regarding this big thing and what exactly it is soon. This week I have a sermon to get ready for Sunday and things are getting a bit tight but after this week I should have more time for blogging.
Also the series “Doing Live Vs Doing Sunday” will continue on (DV). I have it planned as a four-part series.
In Part 1 I wrote about our built-in need for community and how loneliness is a universal pain because it robs us of the fellowship and community we were made to have. Part 2 will deal with the sin and how it ruins community and fellowship.
Back to Genesis and after the sin of Adam and Eve we witness a tragedy that still goes on today. Sin ruins fellowship.
Life before sin is one of happiness and contentment:
And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
Genesis 2:25 (ESV)
Compare that to what happened immediately after the sin:
Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife b hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden.
Genesis 3:7-8
The picture painted for us of life before sin is one of fellowship, innocence and contentment. Adam and Eve are completely open, no deceptions, no pretension, no needy striving to look perfect – they are quite literally naked, everything is open and that’s okay because they’ve never felt shame. When they sin however that vital link that they had with God that gave them their sense of security, contentment and value was severed and they felt shame and hid.
Fellowship is broken. Humanity is alone again, and this is not good. Adam and Eve have lost their peace because they have lost that vital link to God that they had before sin,. They feel wrong. For the first time in their lives they feel shame and they are not at peace with themselves. Now, the couple who had been so totally content that they could walk around naked and feel not a hint of embarrassment, fashion underpants out of leaves to cover up, hiding from themselves and from each other.
Upon hearing God in the garden they hide from Him too, as if one can hide from God. The Father who fashioned them, gave them life and everything they needed for peace, joy and security is not run to with open arms and happiness, but is run from out of shame. Fellowship is tragically broken, and not only are they not at peace with themselves, they are not at peace with the One they were made to enjoy fellowship with.
We see also that man and wife are no longer at peace with each other:
The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
Genesis 3:12-13
When Adam first saw Eve he recited poetry expressing that the longing he had for fellowship and companionship was met perfectly, he rejoiced. Now it’s all finger pointing and blaming. Adam blames his wife and there’s even a hint that this is God’s fault in his speech – “the woman whom you gave to be with me” (my emphasis).
Sin shattered the beautiful picture of God and His people living together in harmony, totally happy, comfortable, secure. In order to restore this picture sin must be done away with so that we can be united again with God and with each other. God dwelling with His people. So God set about to do away with sin and restore fellowship
In the midst of this disaster there is the glimmer of hope that the early church called the protoevangellium:
I will put enmity between you and the woman,
and between your offspring and her offspring;
he shall bruise your head,
and you shall bruise his heel.
This is God speaking to the serpent (who represents Satan in this story) and he announces that one day a descendant of Eve will defeat him. He will be hurt in the process but He will defeat Satan. Throughout the rest of the Old Testament we are looking for and being pointed towards this Hero and we find Him, Jesus Christ, in the New Testament. Jesus is the Hero who came to fix things, to defeat sin and death and restore our fellowship with God and each other, taking the pain and damage onto Himself so that we would no longer be separated from God. He was hurt, but He prevailed. In the next installment we’ll look at the church that Jesus founded and the roll this has to play.
Hopefully I’ve gotten across that if God is going to fix things then the restoration of fellowship and community plays an important part in that. The Gospel is not just that we can be forgiven, that we can be let off the hook, it is also the wonderful news that we orphans can be adopted. Because of what Jesus has done for us through his death on the cross we can be children of God. God is fashioning a new humanity, a new family and we can be part of that, with that vital link between us and God restored so that we can now have peace again; peace with God and with one another in Christ.
Paperback copies of individual gospels are often distributed for outreach and evangelism. The first gospel I read was Marks’s gospel, it was recommended to me because it is short and sweet – my friend says it can be read in an hour, but I’ve never timed myself. That said, a gospel that can be read in one hour makes for nice manageable reading for even the busiest of people when they break it up to read one chapter a day. Another gospel often recommended to new believers or non-Christians is John’s gospel. John is very philosophical and was written for people who might already be familiar with the rough story of Jesus but have not grasped the deeper significance. As you can see from this picture it appears that Mark and John are the most popular. Which gospel would you recommend for new believers or those curious about Christianity?
Life in Bray/Greystones has been a learning experience for me. One thing I have been repeatedly reminded of is that it is not good for man to be alone. People were built for relationships and as much as I like to think of myself as an independent, self-sufficient loner, that is just not how we are meant to be. As an introvert I love to be all alone sometimes, but we are built for community and fellowship and even an introvert needs to come out of his cave sometimes.
Loneliness denies us an essential part of who we are and what God has designed for us. When the Bible introduces the part of the creation story in which man comes about it says the following:
Then God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”
Genesis 1:26 (ESV)
God’s plan from the beginning is that “man” would be a “them”, not a “him” – plural, not singular. There’s also the curious turn of phrase, “let us make man in our image, after our likeness”. Christians also believe that God is Triune, that God, although being One, is also a Trinity. In other words, God Himself is a relationship and a community and we are made in His image. Also in the creation story, the first point in the Bible where God says that something is not good is when he sees Adam on his own (Genesis 2:18).
There is a reason why isolation is used as a punishment, be it for an unruly child having a time-out, a partner given the silent treatment, a community member being shunned or boycotted or an inmate in solitary confinement – loneliness hurts! It hurts us because at heart we do not like to be all alone. Being made in the image of the Trinitarian God for fellowship with Him and with each other means that isolation robs us of something that is an essential part of who we are and what we are all made for.
As small as the world has gotten with modern technology, loneliness is still a big problem, and I would say it is even more of a problem in modern western culture than it used to be. We can now pick and choose the make-up of our communities.. A man or woman’s best friend can now live many miles away for them, kept in touch by text and voice, all the while they need not even know the name of their next-door neighbour. But emails, phone calls and Facebook messages are great for keeping up the false appearance of happiness and normality when things might be falling apart. They are no substitute for face-to-face relationships, up close and personal in our daily lives. Virtual communities can give the illusion of fellowship, making us think that we are not alone, while never providing the genuine companionship of an “IRL” (In Real Life) friendship.
“IRL” friendships can be messy, there are downs as well as ups. So, in the modern world with its taste for convenience and comfort have we taken the easy way out? Do we forsake the chance of making new friends while opting instead to listen to an old song on our MP3 players, shutting out the world? Do we forsake the chance to get to know our next-door neighbour, knowing that we can instead just post on our friend’s wall on Facebook? I know I am guilty of these things from time to time.
It took a blocked toilet and a broken laptop for me to be reminded (more than once) that it is not good for man to be alone.
Being the “independent loner” that I am, when my toilet blocked recently keeping the embarrassing blockage a secret from everyone else and handling the problem myself became top priority. I bought a plunger and several different types of drain clearing solutions but when that didn’t work I had to admit defeat and… ask for help from a friend. It probably took less than even one minute of actual poking about with a sewer-rod to fix the problem in the end. Real-life friendships are messy and sometimes embarrassing but there really is no substitute.
I was preaching on Palm Sunday and while finishing off my sermon on Saturday night my faithful laptop finally croaked. Thankfully I use Google Docs to write up my sermons so none of the existing material was lost. However, with no way of getting online I was once again forced to ask for help, reminding me just how much I need the fellowship and support of others. No matter how independent I like to think I am, it is not good for man John to be alone.
26 Then God said, o “Let us make man[8] in our image, p after our likeness. And q let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”
26 Then God said, o “Let us make man[8] in our image, p after our likeness. And q let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”
I preached yesterday at Greystones Presbyterian Church and afterwards we had tea and coffee in the hall. A friend asked me over a cup of tea if it (preaching) gets any easier. I had to answer no. I don’t think it ever gets any easier. If anything it gets harder for some sermons. Hopefully more experience means I get better at preaching. I become more comfortable with public speaking. I become better at research, and interpretation. I develop systems and patterns that I can follow to help me develop and manage my thoughts. I build up a series of stories or illustrations to communicate those thoughts better. I learn to project my voice and become more confident. But preaching never gets easier. Each sermon demands that I stretch myself, and if my skills increase then I must increase the level I stretched to. A love for God and His word demands that I stretch myself. On top of that I really enjoy and am still fascinated by the Bible, so to take it easy would only spoil my fun.
I bought a new phone recently and as I was reading through the manual (NNNERD!) I discovered that my new phone is equipped with a “fake call” feature. You can schedule a time you want your phone to ring “when you want to get out of meetings or unwanted conversations”. You can even use a recording with the fake call feature to make it sound like you’re talking to someone. Is it really so hard to just be straight with people that we go to such lengths to keep up false appearances ? Should dishonesty and duplicity really be seen as a feature to come pre-installed in our technology and not as a bug in the human condition?
They say exercise is good for you in more than just the physical sense, it improves the mood and can ease anxiety and depression. We are holistic creatures after all, and our physical world is not divorced from our mental or emotional world. For instance, it is impossible for me to fly a kite without smiling (I defy anyone to fly a kite without smiling), also it is impossible for me to view this video without laughing:
I’ve exercised on and off for a while now. When I was a child I hated sport, because the only sport offered to me was the terminally boring soccer, which turned my school friends into angry shadows of their normal selves. I mean seriously, it’s just a ball! I didn’t really take up regular physical exercise until I was in my 20s when I started training in Shotokan karate. The karate was great fun and the exercise did improve my mood. Also, it was good to be good at a sport for once, I’d never one a trophy before in my life. I got injured and took some time off and when I got back the lack of full-contact training seemed to bother me more than it did before and after two years of successful training I gave up. I still have a soft spot for martial arts and would jump at the chance to give judo but it’s a bit expensive for me right now.
The other form of exercise I’ve enjoyed for a while now is running, but I lack focus when I’m not training for a specific race. So last Christmas, while carrying a food-baby in my stomach after Christmas dinner, I decided to sign up for the Dublin City Marathon. It seems like a big step I know, but I’m not aiming for any particular time, I just want to finish it. The training will be the hard part – sticking to a schedule whether I feel like it or not.
I’ve been quite bothered lately at how easily I give in to my moods. I haven’t fasted in ages, I eat what I like when I like, exercise if I feel like it, sleep if I feel like it. My will has atrophied. So I hope to regain some discipline through training for the marathon, improve my moods (I’m not depressed or anything but there’s always room for improvement), and achieve something that most people will never even try. This is supposed to be one of those big life experiences.
I bought a book to help me train and one of the things it suggested was signing up for the marathon and telling people that I’m going to run it. So, I’ve signed up and now you know. I’m looking forward to catching the running bug and seeing what so much regular exercise does to the rest of my life.
I recently sent the following text to myself one night:
Hi Future-John, this is yourself contacting you from the past. Just letting you know the IPC costs €135. I hope the sermon went well.
The point was to remind me to collect a cheque to pay for the Irish Preacher’s Conference. I could have used the reminder function on my phone but this seemed like more fun. It worked. I think the sermon went well too.
There is this duality to life where we try to get ourselves to follow up on the good intentions or good ideas that we have, sometimes this does not go so smoothly. Following through on good ideas that don’t really cost us is easy but what about the times when we have to remind ourselves to die to our old habits and sins? Following through on the intention to pick up a cheque was easy for me, following through on the intentions to die to my old self and live out my new identity is not so easy?
The thing is I’m selfish and the old me was very happy to just go along being selfish, the centre of his own universe, either pursuing self-pleasure or indulging in self-pity. But I like the new me much more, my eyes have been opened to what is good. I can see the changes Christ has already made in me, dramatic changes. I am far from the person I was five years ago, but there is always a challenge to die to old habits and sins and always the struggle within myself to do what I know is good and what I know I really want in my heart.
St. Paul put it like the struggle like this:
For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?
(Romans 7:15-24 – ESV)
He answers his own question in the next sentence:
Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! (Romans 7:25a – ESV)
With Christ I have not just been shown where I am going wrong, laden with guilt and told to pull my socks up, but have been given a Rescuer. God doesn’t just call me to be a better man, he makes me into a new creation. He does the work, my job is to stick by Him, and even that I wouldn’t do if he didn’t open my eyes.
So here are some good intentions I have at the moment, springing from convictions I believe God has given me; you can pray for me if you like and I will lean on God to do the hard work:
I want blog here more. It’s a good discipline to have, it gets me to think and I know people are praying for me and often go for far too long without receiving any updates so I kind of owe it to them. The problem with this, and a reason my blogging is so infrequent, is I often feel like I don’t have anything to say and to simply post up what I’m doing feels a little vain. However I’ve been told a few times (one time told in a “shouty” manner, accompanied by a punch) that people actually do care about me and have an interest in me and by always keeping myself to myself and being such a loner I rob them of the opportunity to get to know me better. The blogging is really part of a bigger plan for me to stop being so distant and mechanical in my interactions with other people. I look at Jesus and I know that he really loved people and the hard truth is that I don’t see that love in myself so that’s going to change.
Are you reading this Adam? [I've recruited Adam to hold me accountable with the blogging discipline] Kick my arse if I go for a month without blogging and don’t have a good excuse
I have more but I’ll save it for another post, I have to pace myself – I’m not used to this.
