Apprentice

I got the result back from my first assignment of this academic year today. I like to know how I’m doing in a new subject. Thankfully the result was good and I’m very happy with it. I am not as anxious as I was about this new subject now. I don’t intend to take it easy now but it’s good to know that I am on the right track.

This knowing where I stand in my new subjects at the IBI contrasts with some current events at my church. Something has come up, which in itself is no bad thing but will mean that the church might soon be going through some major changes and left very vulnerable. With such small membership it can seem like we are just barely hanging in there as it is so change is worrying. Then again change is definitely needed and we could benefit a lot from this change. It’s not knowing what’s going to happen that can worry me… if I let it.

Ultimately I think that, as a sinful and proud man, I don’t like to be reminded of my own helplessness and utter dependence on God. It takes humility to submit to and trust in God. “Old John” doesn’t like to admit that he is not the One in control. But that’s the old me, and although I can still hear him whisper insecurities to me sometimes that is not who I am any more. I will trust in God and pray that His will be done. Poor “Old John”, he doesn’t know he’s dead.