Apprentice

As part of my Spirituality and Self Understanding Course at the IBI I’ve been asked to keep a journal. I’ve tried writing down my thoughts in a separate journal for this but keeping multiple journals is kind of annoying in a multiple-personality kind of way. As long as they don’t get too personal I’m going to try to use this blog for my Spirituality and Self Understanding journalling too.

Most weeks I’m assigned some topics to think about and journal. This week’s topics are:

Do I live what I know I believe?

The short answer is “more than I used to, but still far less than I’d like”. It’s like there are two levels of belief for me (although I know I’m not alone in this). There are things I know in my head, I believe them, but sometimes I think I must forget them. Sometimes the love of God and the sheer grace of the Gospel hits me right in the chest. It hits me. It’s real. It’s really real. He’s really real and He loves me more than I could imagine. As for my tendency to “forget” I put it down to my sinful nature. I’m proud and sometimes I really think a lot of myself. Sometimes I’m just more comfortable leaning on religion to make me feel like a better person, like I’m some how good enough to deserve the blessings of God. That’s a serious underestimation of just how muchGod loves and blesses me as well as a serious overestimation of my own righteousness.

How do I misuse the Law?

Well, the point of the Law, I think, is to point us to the Gospel. The Law is tough, too tough to keep. The Law shows us that we have all messed up. The Law shows us our need and the Gospel shows us that the need has been met in Jesus.

I misuse the Law by treating it as as some kind of pick-a-mix, taking what I want. I pick the laws I consider easy to keep and use them to make myself feel better. I make myself feel like I don’t really need Jesus, like I can manage this on my own. When I really look at this it is nothing less than turning my back on my Saviour to satisfy my own pride. I’m proud. Deep down. Right to the core. Proud.

The Law is not meant to be treated as a pick-a-mix and it is not meant to make us feel good about how well we can manage it. We simply cannot manage it, it’s too hard and the burden is too heavy. The Law shows us our need, Jesus has met that need.

Now we know that the law is good, if one uses it lawfully, (1 Timothy 1:8 ESV)

I wrote “1 Timothy 1:8″ in my notebook, that’s all. So I’m not quite sure what I’m supposed to do with this verse because I’ve forgotten. I guess I’m to just think about it and journal my thoughts.

The Law is good if it is used lawfully, or properly. The Law is good as long as it is used as it is supposed to be used, and as I said earlier I think the point of the Law is to point us to the Gospel. The Law is good as long as we remember what a rubbish job we all do of keeping it, as long as we remember we cannot treat it as pick-a-mix and feel self-righteous about how well we’re doing without Jesus. The Law is not there to show us that we are better than “those sinners”, the Law is there to show us that we are “those sinners” and point us to the Gospel where we find out that us sinners have been blessed to be called the beloved children of God.