Apprentice

Yes, I’m still alive. Yes, I still plan on keeping this blog going.

I think I’m depressed again. I’ve been going through some hard stuff since June, which I won’t go into too much detail about now.

Back in Greystones, during Encounter I was stitting in a room (the Red Room as it was known) which we had decided to take over to watch a film. It was just me and a friend there waiting for the other guys to show up so we could watch the film. The monitor across from me was hooked up to the Hyltons’ laptop (the Hyltons are the leaders of World Harvest Mission’s MAP programme in Ireland, who will sadly be leaving us this year because of immigration issues). The screensaver on the laptop was running, cycling through picture after picture of past Encounters and other friends. There were so many pictures, some of them had people I know and love in them, some of them were even from my Encounter team last year, some of them were just full of smiling faces that I’ve never met. So many faces.

While I was watching this slideshow I kept thinking how hard the Hylton’s job is. Every year they meet new people, love them, cry with them, help them grow and every year they say goodbye to those people. Those people go on with their lives, the Hyltons go on with theirs and while I’m sure they keep in touch I know many of those people will never meet with them again in this world. So many goodbyes, it was so sad.

It’s not just the Hyltons though is it? My life will look like that too. I am called by my Lord to a life of loving people, but the way this present world works means that those loved ones cannot all be kept within the reach of my arms as my heart so wants them to be. Love means saying goodbye. A thousand goodbyes and a thousand hellos. The love and joy I feel from genuine relationships with people far outweighs the hurt of having to say goodbye but when you find yourself having to say those words it can be hard to remember that. I will try to remember that love is always worth the hurt. It was worth it for Him.

I am saying goodbyes and it hurts. I know that we will keep in touch and our friendships will endure and we have been united in the family of God and that is an eternal thing. But still, it hurts. And so I haven’t been blogging much.

I didn’t stick around to watch that film.

On the Friday night, our last night in Greystones before splitting up into our teams, Joel Hylton made the perfect toast:

“To people I want to spend eternity with.”

Amen brother. Cheers!