Apprentice

Life in Bray/Greystones has been a learning experience for me. One thing I have been repeatedly reminded of is that it is not good for man to be alone. People were built for relationships and as much as I like to think of myself as an independent, self-sufficient loner, that is just not how we are meant to be. As an introvert I love to be all alone sometimes, but we are built for community and fellowship and even an introvert needs to come out of his cave sometimes.

Loneliness denies us an essential part of who we are and what God has designed for us. When the Bible introduces the part of the creation story in which man comes about it says the following:

Then God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”

Genesis 1:26 (ESV)

God’s plan from the beginning is that “man” would be a “them”, not a “him” – plural, not singular. There’s also the curious turn of phrase, “let us make man in our image, after our likeness”. Christians also believe that God is Triune, that God, although being One, is also a Trinity. In other words, God Himself is a relationship and a community and we are made in His image. Also in the creation story, the first point in the Bible where God says that something is not good is when he sees Adam on his own (Genesis 2:18).

There is a reason why isolation is used as a punishment, be it for an unruly child having a time-out, a partner given the silent treatment, a community member being shunned or boycotted or an inmate in solitary confinement – loneliness hurts! It hurts us because at heart we do not like to be all alone. Being made in the image of the Trinitarian God for fellowship with Him and with each other means that isolation robs us of something that is an essential part of who we are and what we are all made for.

As small as the world has gotten with modern technology, loneliness is still a big problem, and I would say it is even more of a problem in modern western culture than it used to be. We can now pick and choose the make-up of our communities.. A man or woman’s best friend can now live many miles away for them, kept in touch by text and voice, all the while they need not even know the name of their next-door neighbour. But emails, phone calls and Facebook messages are great for keeping up the false appearance of happiness and normality when things might be falling apart. They are no substitute for face-to-face relationships, up close and personal in our daily lives. Virtual communities can give the illusion of fellowship, making us think that we are not alone, while never providing the genuine companionship of an “IRL” (In Real Life) friendship.

“IRL” friendships can be messy, there are downs as well as ups. So, in the modern world with its taste for convenience and comfort have we taken the easy way out? Do we forsake the chance of making new friends while opting instead to listen to an old song on our MP3 players, shutting out the world? Do we forsake the chance to get to know our next-door neighbour, knowing that we can instead just post on our friend’s wall on Facebook? I know I am guilty of these things from time to time.

It took a blocked toilet and a broken laptop for me to be reminded (more than once) that it is not good for man to be alone.

Being the “independent loner” that I am, when my toilet blocked recently keeping the embarrassing blockage a secret from everyone else and handling the problem myself became top priority. I bought a plunger and several different types of drain clearing solutions but when that didn’t work I had to admit defeat and… ask for help from a friend. It probably took less than even one minute of actual poking about with a sewer-rod to fix the problem in the end. Real-life friendships are messy and sometimes embarrassing but there really is no substitute.

I was preaching on Palm Sunday and while finishing off my sermon on Saturday night my faithful laptop finally croaked. Thankfully I use Google Docs to write up my sermons so none of the existing material was lost. However, with no way of getting online I was once again forced to ask for help, reminding me just how much I need the fellowship and support of others. No matter how independent I like to think I am, it is not good for man John to be alone.